Wednesday, December 23, 2015

‘Cracked Carols’ – It’s the most wonderful time of the year

Our old friend and contributing writer Bill Hudgins could give “Weird Al” Yankovic a run for his money when it comes to writing parody tunes. At least when it comes to putting a truck-centric spin on everyone’s favorite holiday songs with his (in)famous Cracked Carols.

We here at Land Line and OOIDA HQ have gotten such a kick out of Hudge’s jingles that they’re as much a part of our holiday tradition as eggnog or making Clark Griswold jokes at Mark Reddig’s expense. Over the years we’ve even recorded a few of them in our studio.

This year’s Cracked Carols feature a tune called “Yuletide Freight” to the tune of “The Holly and the Ivy.”

I am hauling Christmas presents and I hope I won't be late.
I am stacked on up to full cube, with this special Yuletide Freight.
On a sleigh with 18 wheels, as the Santa I do roam.
I just hope I'm done by Christmas and this truck will bring me home.

Listen for yourself here.

And just for fun, we dusted off a couple of our other favorites.

Here’s a snippet from “Oh Little Town of Speed-Trap Fame” (to the tune of “O Little Town of Bethlehem”):

Oh little town of speed trap fame
How low thy police lie,
Behind the sign on Highway 9
Their radar turned up high,
And in the dark night cruising
Unwary truckers learn
Drop 55 to 25
Or you will go home burned.

Give it a listen here.

And last but certainly not least “Christmas Traffic” (to the tune of the Bing Crosby standard “Silver Bells”):

Crowded highways, busy highways,
I am all out of hours
But I'm only a few miles from home.

Christmas Eve night
Roads are a fright
And it's starting to snow …
And on each radio station you hear:

Traffic jams, (traffic jams), traffic jams,
(traffic jams)
It's rush hour time in the city.
Beep beep honk, crash, bang, bonk
I shoulda come Christmas Day

Give it a listen here.

Be safe everybody, and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from all of us at Land Line and “Land Line Now.”