Friday, June 17, 2011

Because they really, really care

The U.S. DOT must really care about you and your quality of life. They want so much for you to have access to trains and buses that take you from your front door to your workplace and to all your favorite recreation spots that they’re distributing another $175 million of your tax dollars to make it happen. Think of all the gas you’ll save riding around in a brand new train or bus, taking you exactly where you want to go and exactly when you want to go.

Wait. You mean you don’t live in a place where trains and buses could take you back and forth conveniently? Do not fear. The DOT plans to get to every neighborhood eventually, even if it costs billions. They’ve got it all figured out for you.

The DOT continues to partner with your friends in the Environmental Protection Agency and the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development as part of a caring and nurturing bureaucracy known as the Partnership for Sustainable Communities. These partner agencies are looking out for your best interest by providing all the perks of livable communities. And it doesn’t cost much either: What’s a few million among friends?

The stated goal of their livability program is to make every single community awesome without exception. Everyone deserves a livable community, after all, complete with curbside transit anywhere and anytime. Forget the cars; they’ll be replaced. Who needs freedom of the road when you can have a schedule?

And wouldn’t it be great if the train tracks went right up to the grocery stores? That would really make communities more livable. Think of everyone smiling and chatting on the trains with their grocery bags and their baby strollers. … Sounds like paradise.

So, make sure you write and thank your friends in these agencies for caring about your community and your well-being.

And truckers, make sure you grab a schedule for the trains and buses that take you from your home to the truck terminal. It’s your community too, after all.