Monday, December 21, 2009

More cracked Christmas carols

I recently encountered a toll road – first time in a long while. It being Christmas and all, I immediately grabbed my guitar, set the cruise control, got my knees under the wheel, and started composing another one of my Cracked Christmas Carols (More of them are in the current issue of Land Line, and on the Web here.)

This one’s to the tune of “Sleigh Ride,” and is dedicated to all those states and cities thinking they can slap some toll booths over the red ink leaking out of their coffers and balance their budgets on the tandems of truckers.

***

Just hear those toll booths jingling, ching-ching-chingling away. Come on, let’s put more tolls on those big rig truckers to pay. The economy sucks and taxes are falling away. Come on, let's put more tolls on those big rig truckers to pay.

Ante-up, ante-up, ante-up, your dough You pay as you go. You’re losing more every mile you go. Ante-up, ante-up, ante-up, that’s fine On our bottom line. We’re taking the bucks earned by your big trucks – it’s a veritable silver mine!

Our debts are briefly covered by money from far away. We’ve convinced the citizens a tax called a toll would be OK. Let’s toll more roads before they catch on at the end of the day. Come on, let’s put more tolls on those big rig truckers to pay.