Monday, March 10, 2008

And my thanks to the makers of Red Bull

Talk about life in the fast lane, our candidates who are making their way to the top for the impending presidential contest – are they even human? The campaign trail of today is not just a contest of issues, wit and rhetoric, but of physical strength and super-power endurance. That and who’s got the fastest jet.

It’s like one of those crazy “Great Race” movies.

John McCain and devoted people have been swept along a nearly non-stop path of campaigning for months. He’s on “The Tonight Show” and at dawn the next morning he’s speaking at some place like the Experimental Aircraft Association’s Eagle Hangar.

Meanwhile, it seems Barack Obama is speaking at a campus in one city and an hour later he is scheduled to appear at the Kolf Sports Center in Oshkosh. An hour later, he’s in another state and Michelle Obama’s on “The View.”

And Hillary Clinton, voice hoarse, must never rest. She’s everywhere. She’s on “Saturday Night Live.” She’s on David Letterman’s show. She’s at the 26th Annual Jefferson-Jackson-Hamer Day Dinner in Canton, MS.

Do you think, in their heart of hearts, that Mike Huckabee and his gallant family are all totally devastated that it’s over? I think in some ways, it’s gotta be a kind of relief. Now they can go home, put on their casual clothes, sleep in their own beds and watch re-runs of “Walker, Texas Ranger.”

Seriously, I admire these people for the obvious reasons, but more, I am astounded at their stamina. What is it that pushes these people to keep shaking hands and saying brilliant stuff and memorizing speeches and looking terrific and presidential? I watch Hillary and I can’t help but think, do they do her hair on the plane? Who is responsible for keeping all those pant suits dry-cleaned?

Has Michelle Obama ever said “That’s it, baby. I am putting on my jammies and staying at the hotel.”

I keep waiting for them to say, when they thank their family and staff and voters and all, “and thanks to the makers of Red Bull, without whom I would not be here.”